First a little background information. I graduated in December of 2007 with a degree in Finance. In the weeks both before and after graduation, I was very unsure of where my life was headed. Rather than actively pursue some sort of career, the stress of graduating and entering the “real world” took its toll and I disengaged. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life.
I had been working at an investment firm for the past year and a half and figured it was the logical choice that I stay in that field. Luckily for me, my bosses offered me a full-time job as an “investment analyst” upon graduation and I was off the hook for now.
As I began the duties of my new position, it gradually became clearer and clearer that investment work wasn’t for me. I simply wasn’t passionate enough about it to build a life in that field. But since I didn’t have any better ideas at the time, I elected to stick around and learn as much as I could about investments, business, and all things related.
This was all happening while other major life-changing events were going on in my life. Sometime in late January of 2008 I began walking with the Lord again. While I became a Christian in High School, I surely wasn’t living it while in college. After graduating and taking a good hard look at my life, the Lord revealed to me that I was trying to do it all on my own...and obviously it wasn’t working. I had no clue where I was going or what I was doing and it was stressing me out.
So I handed my life over to God...again. You could call it a re-commitment but I prefer to say that God showed me the heart that he had given me back when I was 17 and I once again began living for him.
Needless to say, I began praying tirelessly about my job. I felt as though God was leading me in another direction for a number or reasons. Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” In the past few months, God has amplified a number of passions of mine. One of which being my passion for the Outdoors. The Lord revealed to me that my heart did not desire investment management, it desired the wilderness.
As time went on, I began searching for an outlet for my desires. I started buying and selling outdoor equipment on eBay. I started searching for jobs at Outdoor companies. I looked for jobs in the outdoor industry. I searched the web for possible job opportunities. I even applied for an Assistant Manager position at a few of Knoxville’s local outdoor stores.
The more I prayed about it, the more I felt like God had something in store for me...and yet, I still wasn’t getting any answers. I began to get a little frustrated. I couldn’t understand why God was making me feel as though I needed to look for a new venture but wasn’t providing anything concrete.
It became too much. I couldn’t concentrate at work because I was dwelling on the idea that God had something else in store for me! I didn’t know what to do. So one day I left for lunch, went to a nearby park, and just prayed.
I asked God why he was giving me all these desires and not coming through. As I prayed and prayed, God started revealing things to me. I could see how selfish I was being about my job. I could see that I was trying to make all these things happen in MY time and not allowing God to do his work. I was becoming so focused on the negativity of the matter, that I wasn’t able to see anything positive.
I had a job that most people would LOVE to have, and yet...I was entirely un-greatful to God for it. So I prayed some more. I prayed that God would allowe me to see my job as the blessing that it truly was. I was so privledged to have that job and yet I didn’t care. I asked for God’s forgiveness and that he would give me the strength to work to the best of my ability.
When I got back to work after lunch, I was incredibly excited to finish out the day. I finally came to terms with the fact that I would be there as long as God felt was necessary. That’s not to say I was “complacent”...I was defiantly open to new things. The difference was that I wasn’t dwelling on it anymore. I was simply happy with where I was but available for anything that might come up in the future. (By the way...this was on April 30th).
And then it happened. While taking a short break at work, I was checking the facebook and saw an advertisement. I have seen literally hundreds of ads on the facebook but none caught my attention like this one. It said “A River Runs Through It: Become a man of God. Be tested. Experience Christ through fishing, men, and God in Colorado for 12 weeks this summer.”
I was intrigued...so I clicked on the ad. It took me to the website for Training Ground. Without knowing why, I immediately felt very drawn to it. So I spent about 15 minutes checking out the site. Everything on it looked awesome but to be honest, I had no idea what it was really all about. I had never heard of it, I didn’t know anyone who had ever mentioned it, and frankly I was a little skeptical.
I checked out the mission and vision of the program. Everything seemed to line up with the teachings of Christ...but I just didn’t know. Either way, I felt like it was something worth looking in to and praying about. I wrote a quick e-mail telling my Mom about it. I said that I felt very drawn to it and thought I needed to pray about it. I mentioned that the program started on May 19th, but if it was in God’s plan...then it would happen.
After sending the e-mail, I got back to work and tried not to think much about Training Ground. I decided that since I spent more time than expected on my “break” I would stick around the office for about 30 minutes after 5:00 and then go work out.
Before I left to work out, my friend Paul called me. I was pretty excited that he called because we hadn’t been able to get in touch with one another for the past few weeks. He asked if I wanted to go get some dinner at a Presbyterian church on Kingston. Although I had planned on working out, I decided to go.
As it turned out, Paul wasn’t even a member at the church...he just goes there sometimes on Wednesday Nights for the church dinner. He did, however, know a number of people there. When we walked in, Paul said “Now this is the guy that I come here to see...Steven, this is David Wallace.”
We exchanged greetings and brief conversation, and then went to grab some food. Paul got us some seats at a table with David and his wife.
As dinner conversation progressed, Paul decided to put David on the spot. He asked “What have you learned about yourself in Christ through your marriage?” I thought it to be a very funny and potentially awkward question, but in Paul and David’s relationship, I assumed it was quite normal. David thought for a minute and then answered the question. We all mulled that over for a minute.
Then David turns to me and says “I’m going to ask you the same question....but about your job.” Now I was the one that was on the spot. Luckily, I had a lot to talk about, considering the fact that I had just prayed about it earlier that day.
I told the people at the table about what I told you regarding my job. How I was being selfish about it, not seeing it for the blessing that it was, and how I thought God was leading me elsewhere but I wanted it in my own time. I also mentioned that I felt a great connection with the outdoors.
“What do you mean by the outdoors?” David asked. “you know...canoeing, camping, backpacking, rock climbing, kayaking...just basically experiencing nature.”
With a contemplative look on his face, David asked “Are you single?”
“Yes...” I replied.
“You don’t have like a mortgage, or dog or something?” David inquired.
“Nope.” I answered
“So you’re pretty un-attached....” David asked.
“Yep...un-attached” I answered.
“I feel like you might really benefit from going out to Colorado Springs...” He said.
A sinking feeling came over me. Wasn’t that where that program was? Colorado Springs right...? Naw...couldn’t be. So I asked “What’s out there?”
He said, “A friend of mine name [Zan] runs a program there...”
I couldn’t think clearly...I tried desperately to search my mind for what I was looking for. I had seen a video on the Training Ground website. I was almost positive that there was some name on there that was kind of different. I hadn’t really thought about how to pronounce it, but I was almost positive that it started with an X. So I asked, “Wait.....how do you spell [Zan]?”
David replied “X-A-N...it’s short for Alexander.”
“Oh my gosh....” I exclaimed, “um....Training....Training....” I could barely think.
“Yeah, Training Ground...you’ve heard of it?” David asked.
“Oh my gosh.....yes.....today.”
I went in to the story of how I stumbled on the website, felt drawn toward it and really felt as though I should look into doing the Summer program. David asked when the summer program started to which I replied “May 19th...19 days.”
“19 days?” he replied, “...sounds like it’s about time to put in your two weeks notice”
“That’s exactly what it sounds like.” I answered.
At that point I knew. It was most certainly in God’s plan for me to be at Training Ground in Colorado Springs on May 19th. Bear in mind, I hadn’t even APPLIED to the program yet...and I already started thinking about the logistics of me getting out there.
Later that night, I e-mailed Xan and Cory, the directors of the program. I told them the story of what had happened, and let them know that I believed that God wanted me at the Summer program.
Then next day, Cory sent me an application to fill out. There were 5 or 6 short answer questions, 2 essays, and 2 references needed. I completed the application by Saturday and e-mailed it to Cory. On Sunday, Josh (one of the interns) called me to tell me that I had been accepted to the program.
From that point on, my whole world flipped upside down. I had to put in my 2 weeks notice, get a plane ticket, obtain health insurance, figure out what I was going to do with all my things, move out of my house, etc. It was probably the most hectic two weeks of my life.
People that knew the situation kept asking if I was excited. “There’s still a lot left to do...I’m not there yet” I would answer. I knew that a lot could happen in a matter of days and It wasn’t a guarantee that I was going to be able to go.
As it got closer and closer to the 19th, the list of things that I needed to accomplish got shorter and shorter. On Friday, May 16th, I finished packing up my car and left for Jacksonville, FL (to take my car and things home). The next day, my parents dropped me off at the airport to fly to Denver. After staying in a hotel Saturday night, one of the interns picked me up in Denver on Sunday morning and drove me to the Training Ground cabin in Colorado Springs. I actually made it.
I have continually been amazed with God’s power and presence in my life. Over the past 6 months, God has had his hand in my life in so many ways...because I’ve invited him into it. I know now more than ever that he will guide us to places we would never imagine if only we allow him to do so. God is constantly speaking to us in many ways...we just have to pray for the ears to listen.
