Leaving Behind, Looking Forward

Early Monday morning, our first Wilderness Trip began. We packed our backpacks under the guidance of Cory and Xan, hopped in the cars, and began the journey.

The trip was full of lots of guessing along the way but none of us could have truly figured out where we were going. We ended up in Medicine Bow National Forest in the Snowy Range in Wyoming.

Snowy Range is right. We could see the snow from a distance, but I didn't imagine that we'd be hiking in it. As we drove further and further into the mountains, I knew we were in for an experience.

Once drove as far as we could into the National Forrest, we stopped the cars and unloaded the gear. Even while in the midst of the snowy mountains, I had no idea that we would actually be hiking in the snow. Little did I know, the Turtle Shell roof-top carrier that was on Cory's car held 15 pairs of trekking poles, and 15 pairs of snow-shoes.

We hiked a good way up the mountain on the road and then stopped at what must have been some sort of trail. Well...if there there WAS a trail it wasn't visible; there was about 6 feet of snow on the ground. So we put on our snowshoes and began trekking through the snow into the unknown.

Although we didn't hike for long, I hadn't fully adjusted to the altitude yet. It's amazing how much more difficult it is to breathe when you're hiking above 11,000 feet! It gives me a whole new respect for the people who climb Everest!

After arriving to our campsite (a patch of grass and dirt in the midst of snowy surroundings), we set up camp and sat down to reflect. Cory and Xan read us Matthew 4:18-22 and asked us to go be alone and reflect on it for a while.

In Matthew 4:18-22, Jesus calls the first disciples. He first sees Simon (Peter) and his brother Andrew while they are fishing. To them he says "Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Then he sees James and John (sons of Zebedee). They are working on their father's boat with their father. He calls to them as well and they come.

Xan and Cory asked that we reflect on what we left behind when we came to Training Ground, and then also what we want to move towards.

First of all, I will say that what astounds me the most about that passage is that James and John were on their father's boat WITH their father! Jesus called to them and they came. That must have been an extremely difficult situation. They immediately got up and followed Jesus. They left everything that they know to follow this man who they may or may not have ever met. Chances are they had heard of Jesus...but either way, the call from the Lord was so powerful that they could not resist.

That feels a lot like what we all have done with Training Ground. We've all left everything that we know because it is clear that God has called us to something else. I get the impression that we all feel as though we are alone in this...but we've all done it. All of us have left our lives to pursue what God has in store for us. Our desire to grow closer to the Lord is greater than our fears of the unknown.

I believe that we've all come here and at times not even known why! There have been multiple times that I've said to myself "What am I doing here?!" I know that I'm not the only one. But the Lord has called us all. We have been called to THIS session with THESE other men. I'm sure we will find out why in months to come.

I'm guessing that at times the disciples had the same doubts. Don't you think that when they were persecuted and treated as outcasts they wondered "why the heck are we following this guy?" But I know that somewhere deep down in all of our hearts we know why we are following him. Following the Lord is RARELY the easy journey, but I would submit that almost nothing in life worth doing is easy.

What will we find out here? Will we find the hearts that we're looking for? Will we truly become the men that we want to become?

Right now I'm sitting in the midst of the wilderness somewhere in Wyoming. We hiked for miles wearing snowshoes to find a patch of grassy land in the middle of snow-covered terrain. Now, of course I've been camping before...but I slept OUTSIDE last night...no tent. Just me in a zero degree sleeping bag under the stars of the gorgeous Wyoming sky! If I'm on a journey to find my masculine heart...I'd say I'm off to a good start.

With this process has come an increased desire to learn. When we were all back at our homes there was more of a pressure to KNOW everything that we might encounter. Many of us have for years hidden behind our false selves and played the role of someone who has got it all figured out. When we didn't know how to do something, we'd fake it. We acted like we knew what we're talking about...tons of guys do it. When someone brings up a topic and we haven't the slightest clue as to what they're talking about...how many times out of 10 do we just "smile and nod." I think back to when I was a bartender at a beach club and someone ordered a Goombay Smash. I had no earthly idea what a Goombay Smash was...but I sure as heck didn't want THEM to know that. So what did I say? "Goombay Smash? sure! coming right up!" I then proceeded to sneak into the back and Google it. I faked it. I acted like I knew what I was talking about. I hid behind a false self because I was embarrassed that I didn't know something.

Not the case here...there's a willingness to learn unlike any other. We all recognize that none of us have it "all figured out". This program is designed for young men who are tired of faking their way through life. We have a desire to learn. We want to learn about ourselves, about God, about being men, about LIFE! That's why we're here.