I never know what he's doing...

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've had a lot going on that I wish I would have written about, but not the time to do it.

About a month ago, I decided to take a leap of faith.

As many of you know, as a kid I was a child actor/model. My parents got me started as a model when I was 1 or 2 years old. We lived in Chicago at the time. I was in a number of print advertisements as well as a few commercials. Here is a picture of me in a Lee Jeans ad:


Many of you are thinking "what a cute kid...what happened?" I ask myself the same question all the time.

Anyway, as I got older, I began auditioning for movies. Although I got "called back" often, I was never actually in one. It wasn't until I was in 4th grade that I actually started acting. My 4th grade music teacher sent a letter home to my mother suggesting that I audition for a role in the high school musical at the school near by. They were looking for a 4th-6th grade boy soprano. Yes, I was a soprano before my voice changed.

I auditioned for the role as Colin in the Secret Garden and I got the part. For the next few months, I rehearsed along side the high schoolers in the show and eventually performed for audiences up to 2000 people. It was an incredible experience. My mom remembered that during one of the rehearsals I turned to her and said "mom...I was made for this. I LOVE this."

From there, I continued to be involved in local and (one time) professional theater. I was involved in children's choirs, theater productions, and continued to audition for movies. At that point, I knew. I wanted to be an actor.

However, it was during the professional play that I was in (Camelot) that I realized something about the other actors. THEY were professional actors. That's what they did...for their job. They couldn't have been making a ton of money. They certainly weren't famous. It was then that my perspective started to shift. I didn't want to be doing THAT for the rest of my life.

As I grew older, my desire to be "rich" began to overshadow my desire to be an actor. We moved to Memphis when I was 13, and the quality of theater productions just didn't compare to those in Chicago. Everything seemed "B rate" compared to what I had been involved in before. I continued acting and singing at "half-steam" throughout High School.

When it came time for college, I had no idea what I would do with my life...but I was fairly sure it wasn't acting. I knew by this point that it was an extremely difficult business to get in to, and for every 1 actor who was rich and famous, there were thousands that were struggling.

In the midst of all my college applications, I drove up to Miami of Ohio and auditioned as a Vocal Performance Major. I received a sizable scholarship...but didn't take it. "What am I going to do with a vocal performance degree?? be a music teacher?" no no....I wanted to actually make money.

I got accepted to the University of Georgia, and decided that's where I would go. It was a beautiful campus. I still had no idea what I wanted to do. While I was at Georgia, I was involved in the Men's Glee club. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there, but began convincing myself that it was time to cast that part of my life aside.

I eventually transferred to the University of Tennessee because of the Tennessee Lottery Scholarship that I was eligible for. I knew when I was transferring that I was finished with singing and acting all together.

At UT, I worked toward a degree in finance. I began working part time for an investment firm in Knoxville when I was a junior. I worked 15-20 hrs a week, and although I didn't LOVE it...I was convinced that once I was doing it full-time I would really enjoy it. I seemed to think that once It was my REAL job, I'd suddenly develop an interest in things like reading the Wall Street Journal.

When I graduated, they offered me a full-time job as an investment analyst. I quickly realized that what I didn't enjoy doing for 15-20 hours a week, I was now doing for 40. Part of me attempted to dive deeper into the financial world, while the other part of me was screaming for a way out.

6 months after I began working full-time (summer 2008), an opportunity arose at a Young Men's ministry in Colorado Springs. It was clear that it was the right move...so I jumped at the chance. I spent 3 months at a program called Training Ground which focuses on Work, Wilderness, and Worship. It undoubtedly was the vessel in which God used to change my life.

From there, I spent some time working at a decorative concrete surface company owned by a Mentor of mine in Knoxville. 8 months later, the guys at Training Ground asked me to be come on staff as an intern, and eventually the Assistant Director.

Over the past year at Training Ground, I've had a lot of time for self-reflection and pursuing my relationship with The Lord. Last October, I began to notice that God was stirring up certain desires in my heart. Desires to pursue entertainment again. I began praying about having an opportunity to sing in church or act in a local theater.

About a week later, a friend of mine called and asked me if I would sing in his wedding. "no way" I told him. There was no way I was ready for such a task. I hadn't sang on a stage in about 5 years. I eventually told him "I'd think about it."

It wasn't long before I realized that the opportunity I had been praying for...was right in front of my face. I reluctantly said yes.

It was this past January that my friend Todd got married to Christin, and I sang "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman. I was extremely nervous when they asked me to sing at the wedding rehearsal, but about halfway through the song I calmed down. It was like riding a bike. I had done this hundreds of times before...and I suddenly remembered: "I love this."

Since then, I've been actively praying and considering a career in entertainment. Not necessarily as an actor, but that's my primary passion. I have ALWAYS wanted to work in movies. That was my ultimate desire in all of it, and I wanted to know what the business was like. I began researching in any way I could. Reading books, making contact with actors. I wanted to know what life is like in the Movie Business.

Also in January, a Training Ground Alumni (who would quickly become a close friend) moved out to Colorado Springs. His name is Campbell Brewer. I told him that I was thinking about getting back into acting, and he admitted that he had secretly always been interested in film. We began making short films http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbr0E0fZIgc, and even doing things like podcasts http://reddbrew.podbean.com/. Even if nothing ever came of it, we were having a lot of fun.

In June, Campbell visited Tennessee for his brother's wedding. While in TN, he got wind of a movie that they were filming near by. He came down to see about being an extra in the film. Through a contact that he had, he eventually met the Set Director of the film, and was offered a job on the Set Dressing crew. I was jealous.

As 2 months went by, I sat in inner turmoil out in Colorado. I desperately wanted to be a part of the film. I would talk to Campbell on a weekly basis and hear about all the things he's seen and experienced. Every time I talked to him, I asked him if there were any job openings, and every time he told me "I'm sure you can get hired...you just have to come down here." I just couldn't take that risk.

Then, about a month ago, some things changed in my life. Doors seemed to be closing for me in Colorado, and I was becoming ready to leave. One day, I was speaking to Campbell on the phone and telling him about all the difficult things that were going on around me. He began telling me some awesome stories that were happening on the set. All of a sudden, in a moment of clarity, I thought to myself "what the heck am I still doing here?!" I asked Campbell (as I always did) if there were any jobs available. He answered (as he always did) "I'm sure we can get you a job...my boss will just want to know when you can be here." I said "two weeks."

"What?!" Campbell replied.
"2 weeks." I repeated. "If there is a job available, I can be there in 2 weeks."
"Really?! well...ok. I'll ask my boss!" Campbell answered.

And thus began the journey. Campbell asked his boss, and his boss told him that he'd be needing people for a week or two in September. That was good enough for me (barely). I was obviously hoping to work for the rest of the shoot, but I thought "who knows what might happen, God will be with me no matter what." I just needed to get down there.

So I left. I packed up my entire life in my Ford explorer, and headed down south. That was 2 weeks ago, and let me tell you...it's been an incredible experience already.